.. songs playing in my head.

i've just downloaded green day songs from their latest album
21st century breakdown.
i've listened to the songs and there are few songs that keep playing in my head.
like, peacemaker, 21 gun, viva la gloria (little girl)
restless heart syndrome, last of american's girl, know your enemy.
haha. that's half of them album. =D
besides that, avenged sevenfold's songs is great too.
and they don't left my head unoccupied.
ha-ha.
the songs are afterlife, a little place of heaven, dear god and almost easy.
Almost Easy and 21 Guns are in Transformers 2 soundtracks.
hee~ love it soooooooooooooooooo much!!~

i'll be having my exam this Friday.
got tons to study.
i hate surgery notes.
it's too many!!~
pray for me.
and later on Friday, yeah u know, i'm going camping!~ can't wait.

Z is not feeling so good.
he's under the weather.
probably having sore throat and subfebris.

owh. sila enjoy this vclip.
and watch out for mr goddamn-cute-synyster gates *wink*

.. especially you.

i'm not quite sure what to write.
what to say.
this week is going to be one uneventful week.
partly because i'm out of idea.
and maybe because i'm having another exam this friday.
hence, no activity besides surfing the net and studying.
might be 90% surfing 10% studying.
haihs. what should i do?

.. are u the same as i am?

ever had an obsession towards something.
i have few obsessions.

i want my notes to be new.printed.and clean.spotless.
haha. this is so funny, i know.
Z doesn't like it because he had to read my notes carefully.
once,he spilled water on my notes.
and i had it all printed again.

i'm obsessed with clothes.new clothes.
yes, i can become a compulsive buyers.
only 2 days ago, i went to MNG
and bought 2 similar (not the same) clothes.
only they're different in colours and style
but definitely the same design. haha.

same design. different style.

RIP for MJ

owh this is not MJ as in Mary Jane
it's for our late Michael Joseph Jackson.
he who died out of myocardial infarction yesterday was 50.
and i like his songs.
he's worthy for his title King of Pop.
with his outstanding songs, "Black&White",
"Thriller", "Heal the World", "You are Not Alone"
i remember that i even had a video tape full with his music videos.
(15 years ago, you tube is not so popular like right now)
Rest In Peace, MJ.


a tribute, for the legend.

.. post exam syndrome.

OMG! boleh tak soalan exam ada 75 je?
75je???? it's bad! REAL BAD.
because, u can't afford to make too many mistakes.
30 questions is MAX, otherwise, u won't pass.
and i'm scared!.
gila apa soalan dah lah susah mcm tahi.

dr Candra, biasalah kan soalan paling susah penah wujud?
apasal nak tanya prognosis pasien ESRD yg kene pankreatitis yg tgh pakai CAPD kot?
mmg lah tak sure nak letak dubia ad malam ke bonam ke?
it depends on the therapy and how the doctor evaluates things.
it's very subjective to be put as a question.
haihs.

but, what to do?
tawakal je lah.
i've done my best, hopefully the outcome will be ok.

on the other hand, it means EXAM'S OVER!
for now.
i have my final next week on Friday.
but tonight, all i wanna do is go to cinema
and watch Transformers 2.
yeah, i know, i'm late.
but i can't avoid it, i have my exam.
huhuhu.

and next week, i'm going CAMPING!!!~ at Bogor! Yay!~

.. i'll be having TMK exam tomorrow.

my exam is tomorrow at 8 till 10.
i'm freaking out. yet, i can't find the will to study.
i have to, i know. i have to.

i'm scared.

.. too much of sumthing.

i'm panicking.
the closer i am to the end, the lazier i get?
what should i do?

i seriously need to CHANGE!

.. there's nothing in this world that could exchange you.

i would give anything, ALMOST anything
to trade this one trait of mine-LAZINESS
to be more hardworking.
yes, this gene is overpowering,
tramping all other good traits of mine.
outshining every other thing that i have.
and yes, i am not proud of it.
never has.
please, if i can evolve into a more hardworking person.
i would be soo happy, God knows it.

.. wishlist.

right now..
more than ever.
i super really2 want this as a birthday present.

NOKIA E72
Full Phone specifications is as shown below.

General	2G Network	GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900
	3G Network	HSDPA 900 / 1900 / 2100
		HSDPA 850 / 1900 / 2100 - American version
	Announced	2009, June
	Status	Coming soon. Exp. release 2009, Q3

Size	Dimensions	114 x 58 x 10 mm, 65 cc
	Weight	128 g

Display	Type	TFT, 16M colors
	Size	320 x 240 pixels, 2.4 inches
		- Full QWERTY keyboard - Five-way scroll key - Optical trackpad

Sound	Alert types	Vibration; Downloadable polyphonic, monophonic, MP3 ringtones
	Speakerphone	Yes
		- 3.5 mm audio jack

Memory	Phonebook	Practically unlimited entries and fields, Photocall
	Call records	Detailed, max 30 days
	Internal	250 MB storage, 128 MB RAM
	Card slot	microSD (TransFlash), up to 16GB, hotswap

Data	GPRS	Class 32, 100 kbps
	HSCSD	Yes
	EDGE	Class 32, 296 kbps
	3G	HSDPA, 10.2 Mbps; HSUPA 2 Mbps
	WLAN	Wi-Fi 802.11 b/g
	Bluetooth	Yes, v2.0 with A2DP
	Infrared port	No
	USB	Yes, v2.0 microUSB

Camera	Primary	5 MP, 2592 x 1944 pixels, autofocus, LED flash
	Video	Yes, VGA@15fps
	Secondary	VGA videocall camera

Features	OS	Symbian OS 9.3, Series 60 v3.2 UI
	CPU	ARM 11 600 MHz processor
	Messaging	SMS, MMS, Email, Instant Messaging
	Browser	WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML
	Radio	FM radio; Visual radio
	Games	Downloadable
	Colors	Zodium Black, Metal Grey, Topaz Brown
	GPS	Yes, with A-GPS support; Nokia Maps
	Java	Yes, MIDP 2.0
		- MP3/AAC/MPEG4 player - Document editor (Word, Excel, PowerPoint, PDF) - Push to talk - Voice command/dial - Organizer - Printing

Battery		Standard battery, Li-Po 1500 mAh (BP-4L)
	Stand-by	Up to 480 h (2G) / 576 h (3G)
	Talk time	Up to 12 h 30 min (2G) / 6 h (3G)

.. one lie will always leads to another.

if anyone can come up with a saying,
that then become a quote,
then quote mine.

"one lie will always leads to another"

i find it true. very much real in it.
if u start lying, u will then have to conceal the lie,
so u make another lie.
and it goes on, until the truth is revealed.

it's a defense mechanism that everybody has.
even tho in psychology, there's none that describe about this
in the 12 defense mechanism.
but, deep down inside, all of us know that this exists.

anyway, Transformers 2 will be out on 26th
*sigh* worldwide release is on 24th.
but i don't mind because i have an exam on 25th.
so Thank God, movie's out on 26th.
so i don't jeopardize myself by watching it on 24th.
hahaha.

.. but my hearts knows it..

sometimes when you are in doubt,
what is the first thing that you think about?
do you judge, using ur head? or ur heart?
head and heart?
which one is wiser?
scientifically, it is all about ur brain,
there is no such thing as a thinking heart ever existed.
heart can mean 2 things:
1. heart as in ur vital organ, which pumps blood through the circulation system
2. heart(hati) is one of ur organ, hepar-->located under ur right diaphragm

but i believe, u have to use both ur heart and head.
listen to what they've got to say..
ur heart knows what you want.
ur head can analyze the pros and cons.
and when u make a decision
there's no way to know whether it's the right or the wrong one.
but believe in the decision u've made.
because ur heart and head knows better.

.. stand still when all hopes are gone.

i got news baby~
and yet again the title has nothing to do with anything
that's going on in my life.

my TMK's exam is being postponed!
that's one BIG relief.
or does it?
because, postponing the exam means
more materials will be tested.
ergo, more things to study.
but given the extra time, i hope i'll have MORE time studying
instead of doing some other stuff.

.. u made me sick

owh it has nothing to do with the entry title.
i just came to remember one of Pink's song.
right now i'm listening to Rihanna Hatin' On the Club
cool song.

would it be annoying if i say
that i'm still worried about my MKK exam?
what more TMK exam is coming up next week.
and i make zero preparation
i have to study
i HAVE to study
i will try to stop playing pet society and barn buddy
or not.
can't resist it, man.
it's SOOOO addictable.

i've seen many people have privatise their blog due to God knows why
well, they have their own reason.
but i don't mind as long as i'm invited to read their blog.
=)

.. 2 events in a week time

i'm sorry i don't write much this week.
probably because if too lazy to write.
or i don't know how to start.

first. last Thursday,
my friends and i went to Atlantis, located at Anchol
for those who lived in Malaysia,
let me tell you something about Anchol.
Anchol is located in Jakarta,
it's like a city of theme park.
inside, there's a lot of cool places to have fun.
like DUFAN(similar to Genting), Seaworld(similar to Aquaria),
Iceworld(similar to Mines Wonderland), and Atlantis(similar to Sunway Lagoon)..
ALL IN ONE PLACE.
the entry fee is Rp50k (equals to RM20)
but too bad, it's smaller compared to Sunway Lagoon.
but it's still FUN to go there.
and the most important thing is, i made a LOT of improvement..
now i can proudly say, i know the basic of swimming.
i won't drown so easily *clap clap*






2nd, last Sunday,
we went to Chilis, Sarinah Jakarta
to celebrate E's Birthday.
he's turning 23 if i'm not mistaken.
i ate Oldtimer burger with cheese.
it's SOOOO big u'll be full in no time. =)

i'm torn. help me please.

should i stay.. or should i go?
i don't know how to decide.
or what i really want.
this torn feeling inside of me devastating.
i don't know what should i do...
if i stay, what are the consequences?
how will they react?
i am not that important, ain't it?
if i'm not there, they wouldn't care, would they?
they wouldn't notice that i'm not there, would they?
i hope it's true....

.. being away from you is something i cannot do

i had a very frustrating day today.
every inch of my muscle and feeling is screaming in anger
i finished my PBL on 10.48am (because i look at the watch)
and i waited for Z to finish his'
he came to class at 11.30am.
so we waited for the next class which is Radiology at 1pm

1pm: the lecturer wasn't there yet
1.30pm: Yudis said he's on his way
2.00pm: still on his way
2.30pm: he's at the parking lot (his house's parking lot MORE LIKE)
2.40pm: Yudis confirmed class was cancelled (dang!)

i hate waiting and yet i waited.
waiting is very frustrating
and it was raining.
the weather triggered my sleepiness.
it would be nice to snuggle tightly under the blanket at home.
but there i was, WAITING.
if i'd known, i'd gone back faster than anybody else. tsk.

but nevermind.. as i have a GREAT AWESOME PLAN for tomorrow!!~
my friends and i are going to... wait for it... ATLANTIS.
it's like Sunway Lagoon back in Malaysia.
i can't wait to get wet. haha

stuck in between

i don't know how to begin.
i don't even know what to say..
all i know is my head is full of... just about everything.
and i'm tired of having to think about it.
there's a lot been going on lately,
and i can't keep my pace here and there.

there are few things that need FULL CONSIDERATION.
and i don't know if i'm strong enough to go through it.

Z told me that i think too much of what people might feel once i made my decision
that i cared too much.
Z said that i cared too much about other people
that in the end, it's always me that's on the losing side
it's always me that's hurt.
and i know he's right.
but what am i supposed to do?
i sometimes hurt him without even realizing it.
but u know that i truly love u Z
i do.... and i'm sorry for everything.
i love you.

holiday,and yet still busy.

i will be on hols in 2 days time.
my hols would be around 5 days. that's good.
but don't smirk too early...
every good thing has it's own catch.
right after holiday would be one hell of a month.
packed schedule, strict rules.
it's gonna be a catastrophe.
but all i want to do right now, MAKE A PLAN FOR MY HOLS.
my five beautiful sweet hols.
but too bad, i have to finish my assignment on diabetes first
before i can go out and have some fun. =(

anyway, tmk (teknik keperawatan medis) is here now.
i'm not sure how to describe it.
probably i'll know soon.

before i end it.
today is RAZIN ALEIA ROMZI's birthday.
happy birthday aleia.
i love you sooooooo much.
and i sooooo miss you..
i can't wait to get home and play with you again. =)

.. want to do and will do.

there's a difference between wanting to do and will do.
wanting to do is just a plain desire to do something
but there's a chance that you might never do it.
whilst will do, u will do it, and it's not just in plain words.

what i want to do?
there's a lot of things that i want to do
but after considering the pros and cons.
i have put asides tons of my personal wish list.

sometimes in life, u just can't have everything that you want.
you cannot want to have straight A's and don't study at all
(but this don't apply to geniuses)
but in order to get something, u have to sacrifice something else.
it's the law of equivalent trade.
and there's also a saying "no pain, no gain"
and i've heard somebody say this,
"you can't always have what you want,
but if you try hard enough, you might get what you need"

i want to do lots of things.
i want to have many things
best thing to do right now is just being wishful
and when i have the opportunity to realize it.
i will do it.

.. too many informations can kill a man

yesterday,i went to Malaysia's embassy.
like i told you earlier, we had Malam Sanggar Mustika.
an event organised by Kelab Umno Jakarta
students from universities around Jakarta made performances.
UIN with their dikir barat.
Uni Moestopo with their short drama, and asmara dana dance.
UI with their songs and short drama.
Trisakti with a poem and a dance.

what i think about it?
in general, it's a success.
even though there are certain things that can be fixed.
like the lousy sound systems.
and the amount of foods that weren't adequate.
but apart from that, it's still a great event.
and i loved it.

.. always happy

MKK exam is difficult.
i never thought for it to be difficult like that.
and my headache is not getting any better during the exam.
it got worst.
however, i still managed to finish all 120 mcqs
the result? let's pray for the best.

right after exam, J,Y,K and i went to TA.
J's been craving for pizza hut since last night.
so to Pizza Hut we went.
we ordered Pizza Hut Fishchip Queen Crust.
i'm not sure whether it's delicious or not.
might be because my taste buds is not working these few days.
and i've told u earlier, i seemed to lose my appetite.
but the time we spent was still great!

tonight, KUJ (kelab umno jakarta) held an event: Malam Sanggar Mustika.
we planned to go. so i'm getting ready.
will tell u the details later. =)

.. owh where and when will it end?

i have less than 24 hours to study.
omg, it's been a while since i last felt panic like this.
but the thing is, my brain seems like it cannot absorb no more information.
it's already too much...

tomorrow there will be an event called "malam sanggar mustika"
held in Malaysian embassy.
since i don't have any other plan.
going there would sound good enough.
there will be lots of foods and shows.
the FOODS that drives me there. seriously.

i can't wait for the exam to be over.
but right now i'm gonna push harder.
push my lazy2 brain to move again.
and swallow and aspirin if i have to.
i often get tension headache. owh it's nothing like migraine.
tension headache is bilateral whilst migraine is unilateral.
and in tension headache u'll fell like the pain is tying around your head and pressing it.
can u imagine that?
well, that's how my lecturer describes the pain in the notes.

.. wrong assumption.

i thought yet again that it will rain today.
but the hope left me all disappointed.
it's hasn't been raining...
few weeks back, i bought an umbrella
because i'm tired of always having to go through the rain.
but after i bought the umbrella, the rain stopped.
and it's been weeks my umbrella's left unused.
safe inside my bag.
damn.

and yet another story to tell,
yesterday i intended to buy magic colour as my old one is drying on ink.
i was holding it, flip it back and forth
and i put it back before i reach the counter.
thinking, "there's always tomorrow to buy that, it's not necessary today"
and today, i went to the same shop wanting to finally buy it.
it's GONE!
and i went searching at another shop, it's also gone. finish. sold.
morale of the story: grab it while u have the opportunity.

and my exam is on the day after tomorrow.
and i'm PANIC-STRICKEN!
i haven't finish studying.
and i'm not ready. AT ALL.
by all mean, god, please help me.

..of an experience.

will it rain tonight?
that's the first thing that cross my mind when i feel the wind brushing on my check.
Jakarta had gone through extreme weather this week.
it's hot. really2 hot.
it's getting hotter everyday and you feel that your throat might suffocate with dry air.
even though you'd drink gallons of water.
the dryness in your throat never really fade.
and it's killing you.

today nothing much happen.
as i've slept quite late last night,
i didn't go to class this morning.
i only attend seminar at 10.
that's because my group is presenting
and Z told me UTM result came out.
lucky i did ok. thank god.

and all i have to do right now is to study for UAM this friday.
i'm hoping it will all go smoothly.
and i'm dying for the holiday to begin.
i don't know. it's getting boring here.
wayy too bored.
or maybe it's just me?
i'm thinking of a sweet escape plan..
but no one's approving.
so, it's a no-go.
stick to plan B. that's it.

there are few sensitive things to be touched.

yesterday i watched the news.
about the escaped of an indonesian model, manuhara.
she who's married to a Kelantanese prince
claimed that she was being physically, mentally and sexually abused by the royalty family.
one hour duration of news was all about her.
and it continues today on their gossip channel.
i believe that this might be yet another controversial between these 2 countries.

personally i haven't read any news regarding this in any Malaysian's paper.
or maybe it's being kept quiet by the government.
who knows what agenda they might hide?
but my point is, "innocent until proven guilty"
that's what we should practise.
we cannot judge a person just from a one side story.

what i believe right now is that
even if the Kelantan's goverment is at wrong,
it has nothing to do with what us who's studying here.
and i hope people will understand.
and saved us from yet another problem.