i need you

i'm so screwed.
i'm f***ing screwed.

i... i...

I'M OUTTA HERE.

in less than a month.

my nightmare will begin in less than a month.
it is so gruesome, u wudn't let ur children to pick this path.
haha. now i understand why my sis forbade me to pick this path.
i guess she had a point.
and right now it is lying naked right in front of me.


MEDIC IS FUN BUT IT IS DEVASTATING.


and i just hope i'll get thru it just fine. in one piece.
point is, i can't stand this UNI, why lah everything so exam-oriented????

CAN'T

the word CAN'T can cause utter disappointment.
it's shows such negativism,
CAN'T cross the border.
CAN'T step a toe out of line
CAN'T do this.
CAN'T do that.

there's A LOT of thing that i want, but CAN'T.

so i just have to stick with what i NEED right now.
i'm hope the day where i can cancel those CAN'Ts into CAN will come sooner.

anyway enjoy this. =)
the used; blue and yellow

.. serenade ..

i wish of nothing.
but tranquility.
my life's been busy. so busy lately.
it makes everything move in such chaotic manner.
and i just wanna pause for a second.
look around and breathe.
that's all i ever wanted.

however, this journey i'm taking,
will come to an end.
soon enough.
before another journey begins.

till then, work harder. have faith.

bollocks

i'm having trouble with my sight
i'm hypermetropia. (-5.00 plus astigmastism -1.5 axis i dunno)
d'u know how difficult it is to see without an eyeglasses?
VERY DIFFICULT.
and i dare not go out without wearing one.
if i dun wear my glasses.
it will be like i'm in a sea of unknown creature.
i can't tell who's the person in front of me until he/she is 15cm apart from me.
HAHA. laugh all u want. but it's troublesome.

and right now, i dunno whether this has to do with my poor eyesight or not.
but i seem to suffer constant headache right around my eyes and it goes everywhere
up to head and sumtime i think that my eyes are just gonna pop out.
i dunno whether this is just psychosomatic or what? haha.
and i hope it's nothing. please.

i just finished my surgery and pharmacy cycle.
and after this will be my internal meds cycle.
and i hope i'll get thru that one just fine.
and i also hope that i'll pass my exams.

OSCE will be next month on 22nd till 2nd of march.
i hope i'll pass that one too.
and i so so soooo wanna go home.
back to Malaysia.
back to my family.
and everyone that i love and miss. =)

drug prescription

Dr. Rin
Grogol
SIP: 03006349
Jakarta, 21/1/2010

R/ Syr amoksisilin 60ml Fl. II
S 3 dd cth p.c
--------------//-------------SS

R/ Paracetamol 100mg
Sacch. Lacct. q.s
m.f.l.a pulv d.t.d No. IX
S 3dd pulv p.c
-------------//--------------SS

R/ Hcl Codein 144mg
Sulfas atropine 4mg
Syrup simplex 20ml
Aqua m.p 100ml
m.f.mixt
S 3dd cth
--------------//------------ Syahrin

Pro: patient's name 6 tahun

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

psycho kan?
if boleh buat resep nie.
boleh jadi doktor kat indo ah.
gila belajar pening!!~

i got thru

after a week being constantly sick.
it makes the surgery cycle seems like hell to me.
i hate studying when i'm sick.
worst, exams in every single day did not help a bit. NOT A BIT.

but sumhow, i got thru.
and i hope i pass that one.
tomorrow is pharmacy cycle.
hope that one will go well too.

still, my headache lingers.

sry

been busy.
and will still be, until, urm, for the rest of month.
and the next month.

won't update much. gotta go.

?????!!!!

MANA CAMPAK FILE PINK TUE!!

dah lah dalam tue ada sumeeeee, SEMUA notes bedah..

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH, tinggal kat mana ntah??

huhuhuhuhu.

.. i dun like being sick ..

i dun like being sick.
it makes me lazier than usual.
and i can't afford not to study.
i have too many tests to cope.
=(

i'm scared. my surgical cycle is quite hectic.
checklists yg mcm haram je.
and anam and PE mcm tak blaja sgt.
this make everything a lot worse.

anyway. i like wound suturing. wanna see my work?
hehehes.


and this me doing the suturing. =)

hehes. would love to upload more.
but do u like seeing me sticking my finger in a mannequin's butt?
or me sticking a tube inside a mannequin's penis?
haha. i dun think so.

jom blajar instrumen surgery

nie sume instruments for surgery yg bodoh nak kena hafal everything.
and there's lot more.
malas upload banyak2. karang korang pulak pening.
uhuh.
okay. gtg. have fun reading. hehes

- Senn double retractor
- Mayo hegar needle holder
-Metzenbaum scissor
-Mathieu needle holder
- kocher hemostat bengkok
-Spencer wells hemostat forceps
- Grooved director buttoned
- Foester sponges forceps/stick
- Farabeuf retractor double pair
- Straight mayo scissor
- Crile hemostat forceps
-Boogie hegar
-Backhaus towel clip
- Allis baby forceps

.. 5 months old adik ..

he's cute. owh HE IS CUTE.
and i miss him. =(
since raya last jumpa.
and now dah besar.
what if he doesn't remember me when i get home? *sigh*

.. jantung berdegup hebat ..

i was like, WHAT??!!
my heart was throbbing in pain.
it never really beat in normal pace for 5 days straight.
but hey, I'VE PASSED MY PSYCHIATRY CYCLE!!!
YAY!~

hehes. and i got the highest score. another yay!!~
and i was soo shocked to hear bout it.
but, thank God. for everything.

Z also passed his internal meds exam.
congratulation!

but i have surgery cycle coming up!

be careful.. for ur own sake.

i've just looked at a picture my senior took during his clinical posting.
and it was scary.. so be careful, u might throw up.
but it's reality.



what u see right now is a woman's left breast.
she suffered breast tumor.

scary? but it's reality.
do regular check up.
see if there's an abnormal lump.
go seek ur doctor.

****************************************************

today, i've finished my case presentation.
it was alright, i hope.
but just to be in the room watching ur friends present
and that u have to comment about them.
what they lacked.
they are VERR DIFFICULT!
i can't afford to go thru that again. *sigh*

tomorrow is OSCE exam for psychiatry cycle. wish me luck!

shit la status mental

blaja psikiatri serious buat org rasa nak gila.
serious! serious!!

sapa hafal status mental banyak2? then kena know how to interview patients?
silap2 cakap, nah, amek pisau kat perut or whatever they can use to attack.
(itu kalau patient delusion or hallucinate or mmg dah bengang)

like okay... benci kot hafal banyak2!
just stress.

dun mind me.. *tgh hafal*

status mental:

A deskripsi umum
-penampilan
-kesadaran
-pembicaraan
-perilaku dan asktivitas psikomotor
-sikap terhadap pemeriksa

B alam perasaan
-mood
-afek : stabilitas,pengendalian,echt/unecht,empati,dalam/dangkal,skala differensiasi,keserasian

C gangguan persepsi
-halusinasi
-ilusi
-depersonalisasi
-derealisasi

D fungsi intelektual
-intelegensi dan kemampuan informasi
-orientasi
-daya ingat
-konsentrasi
-kemampuan membaca menulis
-kemampuan visuospasial
-pikiran abstrak
-kemampuan menolong diri sendiri

E proses pikir
-arus pikir: produktivitas, kontinuitas, hendaya berbahasa
-isi pikir: waham, preokupasi

F pengendalian impuls

G daya nilai
-daya nilai sosial
-uji daya nilai
-penilaian realita

H tilikan

I taraf dapat dipercaya

haha.. there u go. hafal pun! benci ah.

a good listener

today, i've learned that it's not easy to be a good listener,
it takes a lot of patient and good empathy skills.
u cannot show ur sympathy,
u shud be a good, active and flexible listener.

a good listener...hurm

faster

i have no activity to do today besides enjoying the last bits of my holiday.
tomorrow, routine life awaits.
and i'm scared, dunno who's not.

i hope time will go fast. REAL FAST.

.. round round ..

here goes. holidays will end tomorrow.
and it's not sumthing i look forward to.
i have 6 more cycles to go before OSCE.
i hope it will all go smoothly.

i'm scared.
the holidays are blinding my sight.
these relaxing environment will indeed drives me insane.

please study.
psychiatry cycle is waiting.
with the so-called fearsome doctors.
i hope everything will be alright.

new year celebration

it's not much of a celebration.
but i think i kinda like it that way..

last night, i thought of going out.
but then i was having 2nd thoughts.
maybe there won't be any tickets left.
but at 7, Z asked me to call the cinema.
and yep, there's empty seats.

so we went to the mall,
bought our tickets.
haha. i was like the last person that was able to buy the tickets
and i made the cinema full.
the person next on line wasn't able to watch sherlock holmes.
if i was 2 second late, i wud be that person.
but lucky me.

and so we had our dinner,
and waited to go to the cinema at 9.40pm.
and the movie was superb.
i dunno, maybe i'm still in the mood for deductive movie.
haha, after i've watched so many detective conan movies.
and lucky that i've watched conan: phantom of the baker street.
so, i know i lil bit on what they were talking about in sherlock holmes.
hehes.

and so we watched the movie.
and after 2 hours or so, the movie ended.
the mall was already closed.
and we walked out to see fireworks everywhere.
and it was magnificent.
i liked it a lot.
maybe next year, we'll be celebrating that way, right z? hehes.

anyhow, 2010 is here,
i hope this year will be even better.
i'm crossing my fingers. =D
happy new year people.