make it happen.

i always wanna be the girl who can speak her mind.
instead, i do speak my mind. in my own very mind.
pathetic. that i don't actually have the guts nor the courage to do so.
because i'm scared of what i'll say might hurt others.
so i keep it all to myself.

i do hope that as time goes on,
i will be braver.
instead of keeping it all to myself.
i might actually blurted it out. to the right person.
but maybe... just maybe that time might come in 10 years or so.

right now all i wanted is to have a happy life.
with Z, friends and family.
i love them all to pieces.
and i do hope they're feeling just the same about me..
awwwwwww....

i have a lot of unfulfilled wishes.
the never-ending lists of what i want to do.
i think too much.
if only i can just do, do, do and think later.
but yes. i have to think about the consequences.
if it is a child, that the child is permitted to act without thinking.
and leave the consequences for the adults to handle.
but i'm no longer a child.
i have to bear the consequences of my own personal acts.
i'm forced to grow up and take responsible.
that's sad. isn't it. but that's life.

what i'll do at this very moment.
make it happen.
everything i've wished for.
make it happen. one by one.
in a safe way. of course. =D

p/s: chelsea won over everton 2-0 and grab the FA cup. yay!!~

it's gettin' hot in 'ere.

for a tropic country, jakarta is hot. too hot.
the heat is coming from the ground.
it's like living inside a microwave.
i got fever because of the extreme weather.
luckily it's on weekend.
so i still have time to rest.
and my fever is cooling down.
but i still have one major problem. eating.
i don't have appetite to eat.
i haven't eaten rice for more than 24 hours and counting.
my stomach is full with Hcl acid.
please, i don't want to have peptic ulcer (aka gastric)

yesterday i went to the mall to watch terminator salvation.
the movie was AWESOME. yup!
christian bale does know how to carry John Connor's character.
and i love the movie to bits.
too bad the original lead actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger only had few naked minutes on screen. LOL.

and this evening i went to N's house
she held a garage sale.
bought a dress and few accessories.
and it's cheap! honest!

and right now, at this very moment.
i'm watching the FA Cup.
Chelsea vs Everton.
and it's on 2nd half.
they are tied with 1-1.
i'm hoping Chelsea will win. please WIN!
drogba, u're AWESOME.
lampard, score some goals.
prove that losing to Barca doesn's affect your spirit and skills.
win A CUP!



well, people, do pray for my health. thanks a bunch!

BARCA RULES!~

the UEFA champion league--> Barcelona.
yay!~ i've been wishing they would win and YES they had!
beating manchester united with 2 goals.
that was very impressive.
although i don't watch it till the end because i have class at 7,
i still feel the heat of happiness from the winning team.

Z said that M.U was a little too passive yesterday.
as C.Ronaldo was marked. nobody made quite an impressive move yesterday.
too bad for Ferguson. i hope he's not too depressed.

and yay!~ Lionel Messi shot the winning goal
and he was stated as the best player. (MVP maybe?)
anyway, congratulation Barca! you did AWESOME!

moving on to my next agenda. (as if i have one, but i'll crap about something anyway)
holiday has been confirmed.
we have 4 days of hols. wooopay.
my girls wanted to go to Atlantis (similar to Desa Waterpark)
so i think i'd join anyway.

today class starts at 7 because Dr Husnun can't make it at 8.
we learned about CVS. no it's not cardiovascular thingy.
it's computer visions syndrome.
what is that?
it's a group of clinical manifestation when you use your eyes excessively and for a long time.
like using the laptop four hours straight playing FB.(haha, Dang!)
ur eyes will get tired and it will creates few symptoms
such as:
1. dizzy
2. difficulties in focusing ur eyes.
3. asthenopia (tired eyes)
4. double visions
5. neck ache and back ache

this is the best way to set your laptop.
i will try to bear that in mind too.

PMS

owh bukan penyakit menular seksual
it's pre-menstrual syndrome.
it is said that the etiology for this syndrome
is because of the imbalance between estrogen and progesterone
that cause the serotonin to decrease.
and serotonin affect your mood regulation.
that's why sometimes you are feeling depress few days before menstruation.

there are actually few types of PMS. CHADO-that's how i remember it

1.PMS type C (craving)
2.PMS type H (hydration)
3.PMS type A (anxiety)
4.PMS type D (depression)
5.PMS type O (others)

so which type do you belong?

********************************************************

UEFA champion league has reach its climax.
tonight will be the night.
will Barca wins? or will the devil wins?
may the best team win.

p/s: i'm hoping Messi will perform and Barca will win.
but that's just me. =P

neutralization.

there are times when i choked with anger.
there are times that i am so angry with Z.
there are times that i find it impossible to argue with him.

but after a few minutes of silence and self-debating.
i find that i truly love him.
and it based on no sense at all.
and that there's no need for a ridiculous fights and arguments.
and it cancels out every other thing.

i love you. thanks for everything. =)

i do hope you are reading this.

.. in need of a life adventure.

i sometimes believe that, this is where i belong.
i don't belong in any other world.
i don't fit in any other world.
i won't know how to react, how to adapt,how to excel.
i always know that deep down inside.
"this is what i am supposed to do"

or so i thought.

after 3 years doing meds.
i have come to believe that there's nothing special about my life.
there's nothing memorable enough that it will stick like glue to your head.
u'll remember forever. not strong enough.
my life is too routine.
class.discussions.exams.seminar.
all kept repeating over and over again.

the best thing that ever happen would be meeting Z.
and he will always be the man i love. now, and forever. (finger crossed)

i only have 3 more years before i graduate.
and yes, i have spent most of youth studying and doing literally nothing.
i don't go bungee-jumping.
i don't go snorkeling.
i don't dive.
i don't even know how to drive or swim.
suck isn't it?

i want an adventure in life.
i don't know.
just as a remembrance before i get old.
just as a bedtime story for my unborn child.. in the future.
how i would tell them what have i doing when i was young.
and they will stare in amazement.
saying, "mama, u really did that"
instead, the reality might be "mama, is that all you ever do?"
if i don't make a difference.. soon.

i don't want it to be that way.
and i would certainly change my way of writing here.
i talk too much about routine.

-i seriously want to do something new-

benci lah exam.

owh cepat lah habes exam.
esok nak pg tgk cerita angels & demons.
then later on 27th may nak tgk terminator salvation.
tolong lah confirmkan whether cuti or not.
dosen nie suka suki plan pg bromo tak bgtau.

ok. kepala dah pening.
penat lah study.
especially notes prof suharko yg pening macam lalat.
hahaa

just for one more day...

tak habes study lg.
otak dah lembap.
mcm dah sarat dgn air.
like bayangkan spongebob yg dah berat dgn air.
dia swell kan?
so does my brain.

benci sindrom nak exam.

it's only the beginning of an end.

today is Friday.
i only have 2 days left before MKK exam.
haihs.. sgttt malas nak study.
but i have to. i got no other choice.

well, there's a gossip in uni saying that
there'll be a week of holiday at the end of this module
i don't know yet.
it's not yet confirmed.
so, i'll have to wait to find out.

there's not much going on with my life lately.
i'm bored with the routine already.
class.discussion,seminar.exam.
and it goes on like that.

well, gtg. later.

i miss them so bad.. =(

night at the museum 2: battle of the smithsonian

hurm.. yesterday was FUN.
it's been AGES since i last went to cinema.
first- too lazy
2nd- not many movie this year is that great but there are exceptions.
3rd- been saving up for something

anyway, i went to TA yesterday.
my actual plan is to watch Angels & Demons
but the cinema was full
so i watch Night at The Museum instead.
Ben Stiller movie is always fun to watch.
Night at the museum 1 is soo funny.
i've watched it so many times before.

Larry Daley invents gadget
and his business is flying up
he already left his old job, being the night guard of the New York Museum
and since he left, a lot of things has change.
the museum is about to be renovated.
so they have to remove almost everything to the Smithsonian museum, Washington DC
Smithsonian museum is the largest museum in the world
and there, everything comes alive at night.
and new adventure begins...

i can't write everything here.
it'll spoil the fun. so people, watch it.
kira, i know u want to watch it so bad....
go watch it. BEST!

graduation

melihat senior batch atas saya yg grad/WISUDA
beberapa hari lepas (tgk gambar je)
but still, wahhh.. hebatnye...
and to think that i'm gonna grad too next year. kot.
kalau lulus everything. (SOCA.skill lab.OSCE)
insyaallah.
huhu... dah nak abes dah pre-medical. tinggal lg 2 modules je lagi.
ahah. ada lagi nie modul MKK tak study.
exam minggu depan.
ok. gtg. jap l ada seminar.
takut kena present.
tak mau.

.. yes

and i don't need you to tell me
what's been going on.

sila bawak saya bercuti

kira.
sila bawak saya pg bercuti.
saya nak pg pengandaran.
saya nak main2 kat pantai.
sambil menari2 di tepi pantai.
and serious nak pg green canyon tue.
huhuhu.. silalah bawak. =P

good luck!

there's a lot of people that i want to wish good luck to.

first, there's aleia, who has mid term exam for the next one week.
i hope she'll do just great..
especially with her unwillingness to study.
aleia, aunty will always pray for your success.
and aunty should start study too.

second, it's my sister and izzy.
i would first like to congratulate them for passing their exam.
so now u guys can proceed to 2nd year.
and i wish u good luck for that.
work hard. study smart.
we'll be graduating on the same year i suppose.
nothing much we can do.
and u guys promised to come here if you pass your exam.
so we can go to yogja together. =)
i'm waiting for that.

third, i'm wishing good luck to my eldest sister
she's having a presentation at work tomorrow.
and i hope she'll do just fine.
and her baby inside too. *wink*

and the last one wud be for me..
i'm having an exam next week.
and i only have exactly 7 days to study.
and i hope that i'll have enough effort to go through the exam.

TOP-10 hottest celebrities. =)

10. Jennifer Love Hewitt

As a star on ghost whisperer. she's pretty cool when she talks to ghosts.

9. Jordana Brewster

a daughter of Brazilian swimsuit model and the granddaughter of Yale University President.
she stars in Fast and Furious as Vin Diesel's sister.

8. Rihanna

The album good girl gone bad tells us everything why she's on the list. no doubt.

7. Adriana Lima

The model of Guess and Maybelline, the perfectly proportioned polyglot (she speaks Portuguese, English, and French) has been a Victoria’s Secret's angel for 9 years running.

6. Eliza Dushku

The star of tru calling,Buffy the vampire slayer and Angel. love all those.

5. Mila Kunis

Macaulay Culkin's steady girlfriend. the star in Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

4. Malin Akerman

The star in Watchmen as second generation superheroes who's dating Dr Manhattan at first then
dump him to be with Night Owl.

3. Bar Refaeli

no comment.

2. Megan Fox

She's so hot in Transformer that she's definitely on the list!

1. Olivia Wilde

Thirteen, Dr. Hadley, Foremen's bisexual girlfriend who has a terminal illness- Huntington is the number 1 hottest girl... yay!~

teacher's day

16th may = Teacher's Day.
for all teachers in the whole wide world
Happy Teacher's Day.
and specifically for all teachers who have taught me since kindergarten
Thank You very much.
and for all my friends who are about to become teachers.
Good Luck!!~

hidup and singing lalalaa~

entry takde kaitan dgn tajuk
i just don't know what to write.
nothing significant has cross my mind.

ok. dah kumpul notes setinggi alam.
bila nak start study- God knows when.
haihs... if only ada kerajinan kawan2 kan.
yang jenis stay up study.
and tak tidur petang study.
yg rather study dari tgk cerita kat tv or main internet.

omg. serious tak tipu respect korang.

what to do?

i'm bored.
bosan.
and it's similar in every other language.
name it.

what to do?
cepat lah scholar masuk.
then we'll talk.
haihs. KITAS pun tak sure kene bayar berapa.
bila ydp PKPMI nak confirm?

ignorance is a bliss

my fever is getting better.
so much for having common cold.

forensic result is out.
and i'm happy~

enjoy this: enrique ft ciara - takin' back my love

unforgettable

today is an unforgettable day.
both in good and bad way.

and i will never forget today.

..and the time will eventually come.

it's already Sunday.
and it's Mother's Day! : Happy mother's day!~
and it's the last day of hols.
tomorrow i'll continue with MKK module. *sigh*
and it's the last day for my sister before her mmed exam starting tomorrow.
good luck!~
i hope u'll be a great internist one day.
and izzy too will be a great specialist in 3 years time. insyaallah.
and i really miss home right now.
i wanna wish u gudluck.
but all i can do is wishing thru the fon or thru FB chat.
but u're not always there.
u're always bz.
haihs. can't wait to go back...

hurm...been doing nothing today.
i downloaded a couple of new songs.
not really new here..
but well, who cares?
i like it. =)

well, this is Luna Maya ft. Dide from hijau daun: Suara (ku berharap)

rindu

korang. cepatlah balik..
really miss u guys.
nanti balik kite pg jalan ok. hahaha..
and bring me sumthing from Medan. =)

mother nature

doctors.

have you read the paper about certain politician caught 2 doctors whom
he claims don't do their work.
and later then, we found out that the doctor were housemen
who have worked their ass off and just finished their shift.

well, my point is, doctors today are undervalued.
once upon a time, the relation between doctor and a patient
is paternalistic: means the doctor is the one who decides what's the
best for the patients.
but it doesn't do justice to the patient who claim that their right is being ignored.

then, the relation is improved until what we know today.
patient have their rights to accept or decline treatment.
doctors work as a guide giving out choices for the patient to choose.
but i believe, by giving this authority to patient,
the patient then feel that they have every rights and
doctors must give their full priority to the patient's health.
and they complain if the doctor takes time to move from one patient to another
if the doctor looked tired and don't smile at them every now and then
if the doctor gives out difficult choices, then they will argue as if the doctor are not putting enough effort to cure their illness.

do u know that not many illness have cure.
that doctors' treatment sometimes are just symptomatic.
that when u get viral infection, there's no cure but your own body's immune system?
so when your doctor just gives advice to eat well and rest well when u get influenza.
don't get angry if the doctors don't give out medicine.
antibiotics won't work on virus.
all u have to do is rest well, eat nutritious food
so ur body's immune system can fight the virus.
doctors can't cure every illness.
so don't expect that if u come to a doctor,
u'll be back as healthy as a horse the minute u come home- EVERYTIME

do u know about med's student's life?
we have to go through 5-7 years of studying
which require full motivation
there are times that we think about quitting
there are times when we are sooo depressed
there are times when we feel like we could not go on further.
exams, practical, ward round, books.
for 5-7 years. normal course don't take as long as medical course.

and it doesn't end like that.
we will have to go to another 2 years of housemen
where we are practically called "slaved labour"
on-call are too often.

even when u've finished ur housemen,
u'll still have to work hard.
some claims that they don't even have time for their own life.
some claims that doctors are underpaid. undervalued.
have u seen this through our perspective?

Hippocrates oath: above all, do no harm.

that's the oath every doctor have to make.
an oath which bound them to do their job well.
think about it.

read here for more. =)
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=168386400455

***********************************

btw, i'm not trying to boast what doctors do or how hard the job is.
as some might not understand. *Sigh*
all i'm asking is to see from our perspective.
and to understand.
i do know that other field of works have their own expectation.

all i'm trying to make you see
we are human, not god and yes we are not perfect.
since we are human, yes we have feelings, emotion, thought.

if you a have one person in your family that's a medical student or a doctor.
then u'll truly understand.
thank you. =)

H.O.L.I.D.A.Y

i've finished my exam
and now it's holiday,
my precious 5-days-holiday.
well, it's been a while since my last holiday.
so i have to appreciate it well.
to rest.
haha..

i went to Inul Vizta fr 2 hours.
doing some vocal-abuse.
and maybe tomorrow for adventure.
i'll be OUT. =)

tomorrow is....

my end of module exam for Forensic
will be tomorrow at 7.=(
gosh. i dunno what to say.
probably because i don't study much.
and the thought haunts me.
what if it's not enuff just to read the past year questions?
haha. that's one, i'll have to pay if my result is bad. *please don't*

what am i gonna do after the exam?
haha

pagi2 dah kene tag.. =)

1. 3 NAMES IN YOUR INBOX CELLPHONE?

matrock
zairi *heart*
nad

2. YOUR MAIN RINGTONE?

matchbox romance-monster

3. WHAT U DID AT 12 LAST NIGHT?

watching the da vinci code.. as a prep b4 watching angels and demons soon. =)

4 . WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON U WENT OUT WITH? WHERE?

hurm. zairi. we went to Helen's for dinner.

5. THE COLOR OF THE T'SHIRT YOU'RE WEARING? NOW?

Black. i think. cz it's faded. i can't see the difference between black or grey. =(

6. THE LAST THING U DID?

sleep.

7. 3 OF YOUR EVERYDAY FAVORITE ITEMS?

DS NINTENDO lite pink
N73 nokia
Ipod Classic

8. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDROOM?

white. always is. wishlist: must paint it with green later.

9. HOW MUCH MONEY IN YOUR WALLET NOW?

some.

10 . HOW'S LIFE?

fluctuating.

11. YOUR FAVORITE SONG?

hurm... a lot really, but now i'll say songs by mcr and beyonce.=)

12. WHAT WILL U DO NEXT WEEKEND?

next weekend? probably playing futsal with my girls and preparing for our next trip

13. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME U SAW UR MOM?

OMG.very long time ago. *sigh*

14. WHERE IS SHE NOW?

Home Sweet Home

15. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TALKED TO YOUR PARENTS?

yesterday.

16. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON THAT TEXTED U?

matrock.hehes

17.WHERE DID U HAVE UR DINNER LASTNIGHT

Helen's

18. THE LAST SURPRISE YOU GOT?

what surprise? hehes. *wink*

19. LAST THING U BORROWED FROM UR FRIENDS?

Spoon.

21. WHO IS UR BF/GF OR HUSBAND/WIFE?

Mohd Zairi

22. WHAT DO YOU FEEL NOW?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

23. WANNA SHARE WITH WHO?

Zairi

24. WHO KNOWS UR SECRET?

People that's close to me. =)

25 . THEY KEEP UR SECRET?

I hope they do.

27. ARE YOU ANGRY WITH SOMEONE?

nope.what for?

28. WHAT DO YOU ORDER AT MCD?

Paket 3.=(

29. THE LAST TIME YOU FELT SO SAD?

hurm... kapankah?

30. WHAT IS UR WISH FOR TOMORROW?

my forensic paper will be easy to answer. haha

31. LIST 5 PERSON TO DO THIS

Nana
Eza
K.a
Keyra
Aima

ok that's it. continue study.