berangan jom.

pernah terlintas di fikiran..

rasa when dah habes coass and dah balik msia.

taknak lapor diri kat MMC dulu.

nak keje kat office boleh?

sebenarnya skrg nak buat pun like boleh je.

cz dah ada degree.

kenapa nak keje bese2 dulu?

sbb nak ada life. YES.

nak weekend cuti.

nak tak payah oncall.

nak tak payah kena tgk darah every single day. bukan takut.

tapi dah bosan.

tak mintak lama..

nak jadik PA pun boleh.

just for 6 months.

then akan mengaku kat MMC.

rela posting kat hosp mana.

for another 2 years of hell.

housemenship. apa ntah beza dgn what i'm going through right now? haihs.

stress

penat nak jaga attitude depan perawat.

hari2 rasa hidup sgt pretentious.

u're not who u are.

u cannot be carefree.

akan ada double standard bila mereka tau kamu tue malaysian.

sila hati2!

kadang2 bila ditegur2 perawat like "kenapa sih, org msia kayak gitu"

i just wanna reply "go fuck urself"

but.. since kena jaga attitude.

i just smile.

missing u.. =(

nie lah akibat kalau dah dalam 3 tahun tue

jarang bebenar duduk jauh..

now terpaksa tahan and tabah sbb dah berjauhan (lain kota)

anestesi cycle kat RS AL mcm lepak

mcm santai tapi banyak kena tahu..

like contoh:

ubat untuk bagi premedikasi:

-SA (sulfas atropin) dosis: 0.01mg/kgBB

-DBP dosis: 0.1mg/kgBB or Midazolam or Diazepam

-Pethidin dosis: 1mg/kgBB or Fentanyl or Morphin

ok tue baru nak premedikasi, now untuk induce org tido:

-Ketamin

-Propofol

-Pentotal

dan mcm2 lagi.. nie belum masuk muscle relaxant and so on..

so boring kan blajar pharmaco?

post-oncall lagi. pretest

hahaha..

hari yg ntah pape.

but it get easier.

i hope it'll stay that way.

after a week

rasa dunia dah tunggang terbalik.

dah 2 kali oncall dgn jarak 1 hari je.

badan sakit2.

i HAVE to constantly remind myself to LIKE what i'm doing.

the fact is: this is just one whole new world for me.

pray that i can go thru this.

krisis.

esok mula lah hidup as co ass( co-assistant)

start dgn rotation anestesi kat RSAL lagi.

serious cuak.

takut. nervous. suma ada.

now berharap. semuanya berjalan ngan lancar.

*i hate changes. it feels so different. rasa mcm duduk kat planet lain.

kahwin.

right now,

the word "kahwin" is not so cheesy nor weird any longer.

maybe because we've reached the early adult era?

or maybe we just want to settle down.

bored with every other thing that used to amuse us before.

might be true.