episode 2: karwang

kene kuat.. baru nak masuk minggu ke4.

lagi 7 minggu before habis cycle interna.

for what i see..

mmg kalau dah lama dgn satu2 group nie.

confirm masing2 tunjuk belang kan?

and u'll see them for what they really are.

ada yg mmg rajin.

ada yg malas.

ada yg suka kerja sendiri

ada yg selfish

ada yg selfless.

ada yg ada pendapat.

ada yg taknak kongsi apa2

ada yg taknak bg pendapat yet tau nak kritik je.

mmg banyak lah jenis manusia..

i just hope i'll be patient.

and grab all the chances there is.

nak timba ilmu.

yes. nak timba ilmu punya pasal..

but i kinda love my group kecik.

repost from a friend.

"Please, please please please take me back!"

Of all the uncomfortable feelings that happen after a breakup, some of the most devastating feelings of being unlovable, unworthy and rejected. You lose so much pride that it's hard to think of any way to gain their heart and love back, and being worthy in a relationship once again. You end up by acting in undesirable and desperate ways. You plead, you beg, you stalk, you cry, you threaten, and you dream incessantly about ways of getting back in the good and loving graces.

The loss of pride after a breakup causes us to try to convince our partners that they are 'wrong'and our way is 'right'. We try logical reasoning, pouting, blaming, begging, pleading, demanding, being sad, being angry- any way we can to get them see our way. But rarely do we stop and see things their way. Our pride gets in the way of letting us to do that.

It's amazing how many people in a breakup believe it is the loss of their mate that causes them the grief, when in reality it is the loss of their ego and pride that hurts them the most and causing them to feel desperate yet deceiving to regain their ex-girlfriend's or ex-boyfriend's love and approval. Once you realize this, you can take steps to understand how this loss of pride and ego has caused you grief and how the more you try in a desperate, needy manner to win your ex back the more you will be even more worthy of being rejected and the more you will lose your dignity, pride and ego.

There are many ways to overcome this situation- after a break up. You can either expect to have the feelings of loss and grief or you can just move on. Sometimes the grieving starts all over again but just when you start thinking of it, you will soon realize that you are moving on. Whatever it is, allow the grief to happen. Grief is not something you get over, it is something you get through. Cry if you feel sad. Punch your pillow. Call your mother or a close colleague and wail away. They'll understand. Moreover, re-plan the future and set some new and realistic goals to strive for. Don't rush into dating again. When you were in your relationship you gave 'pieces'of yourself to your mate and to your relationship. Wait until you have regained all your pieces back before thinking about giving of yourself again in another relationship. Lastly, find forgiveness. Finding forgiveness for those who have hurt us is very beneficial for the peace of our mind.

For every broken heart there is an acceptance that is not recognize by the bearer. Only by accepting our broken status will our heart not seem so broken anymore -Tigress Luv-

Longest torturing hour in my life

The longest 1 hour in my life.
I hate you. But I love you.
It's fucking simple.
But I just can't get through the day.
I just can't accept ur existence here.
I'm always on edge, irritated.
Fuck I hate u.
Maybe we should just end this. Or maybe best way is for us to be apart.
Can't be under one roof.
Told u I can't be professional with u around.
But u said, U SAID it's gonna be fine.
I've dreaded bout this like fucking long time ago.
And the result is, u still so annoying to me.
And I just wanna get gone and get lost.
If only I could.. Huh.

God, tolonglah bg kesabaran yg lebih sket boleh tak.
Shud learn to be patient. Should.
But it's just too difficult with u around in the picture.
Maybe I should just witch group.
Or maybe it's u who shud be switched.
I fucking hate u.
I HATE you.

"Love and Hate relationship isn't gonna work"

What should I do??
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Longest torturing hour in my life

The longest 1 hour in my life.
I hate you. But I love you.
It's fucking simple.
But I just can't get through the day.
I just can't accept ur existence here.
I'm always on edge, irritated.
Fuck I hate u.
Maybe we should just end this. Or maybe best way is for us to be apart.
Can't be under one roof.
Told u I can't be professional with u around.
But u said, U SAID it's gonna be fine.
I've dreaded bout this like fucking long time ago.
And the result is, u still so annoying to me.
And I just wanna get gone and get lost.
If only I could.. Huh.

God, tolonglah bg kesabaran yg lebih sket boleh tak.
Shud learn to be patient. Should.
But it's just too difficult with u around in the picture.
Maybe I should just witch group.
Or maybe it's u who shud be switched.
I fucking hate u.
I HATE you.

"Love and Hate relationship isn't gonna work"

What should I do??
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Tired but kinda happy

I'm on post-oncall.
And I wonder, why lah everytime cuti bgn pagi jugak? Why? Why?
huhu. Cuba lah bantai tido bgn lambat waktu cuti
But I'm loving my job. Have to. Have to.
Kata2 semangat utk sedapkan hati sendiri yg kene oncall raya kedua. Sobs.
But takpelah. Habis cepat2 then balik msia cepat toksah nak duduk sini lg.
Penat!!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Macet di jakarta

I'm stuck in traffic.
Haihs.. Kalau jam kat jakarta nie mmglah kan..
Nasib bukan drive sendiri..
Kenapa kat jakarta?
Owh sbb kene uruskan kitas.
Dtg imigrasi just nak tandatangan dokumen then balik karawang
Esok oncall lah oii
Mmg lah kusut.. Huhu

Benci nak uruskan dokumen2.
Mcm lah nak sgt duduk sini lama2
Bayar mahal. Service tak ok.
Sogok sana sogok sini.
And mara is not helping pun.
1,7 juta and yet kau bagi balik 1 juta je.
700k boleh buat makan kot 3 mggu.
Damn, I hate it here.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!

Oncall di karawang

Dah 3 hari masuk internal meds posting kat karawang..
Hurm, best ke? ‎​Oº°˚˚°ºoк lah.. Takde lah santai mana pun.. Just doc dia tak menambahkan stress yg dah ada..
Cz diorang mcm baik..
Tapi ada sket kurengg suka dgn grupmate..
Takpelah.. Hopefully later on this feeling will go away..
Maybe baru nak adapt kot..
A remembrance to oneself
Jgn lupa daratan.. Groupmate tue penting..
Too many things happened and I just live on to keep everything on track..

Ok, sbnrnya nak ckp jugak, dah lulus anestesi AL. :)
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone from Sinyal Bagus XL, Nyambung Teruuusss...!