.. in need of a life adventure.

i sometimes believe that, this is where i belong.
i don't belong in any other world.
i don't fit in any other world.
i won't know how to react, how to adapt,how to excel.
i always know that deep down inside.
"this is what i am supposed to do"

or so i thought.

after 3 years doing meds.
i have come to believe that there's nothing special about my life.
there's nothing memorable enough that it will stick like glue to your head.
u'll remember forever. not strong enough.
my life is too routine.
class.discussions.exams.seminar.
all kept repeating over and over again.

the best thing that ever happen would be meeting Z.
and he will always be the man i love. now, and forever. (finger crossed)

i only have 3 more years before i graduate.
and yes, i have spent most of youth studying and doing literally nothing.
i don't go bungee-jumping.
i don't go snorkeling.
i don't dive.
i don't even know how to drive or swim.
suck isn't it?

i want an adventure in life.
i don't know.
just as a remembrance before i get old.
just as a bedtime story for my unborn child.. in the future.
how i would tell them what have i doing when i was young.
and they will stare in amazement.
saying, "mama, u really did that"
instead, the reality might be "mama, is that all you ever do?"
if i don't make a difference.. soon.

i don't want it to be that way.
and i would certainly change my way of writing here.
i talk too much about routine.

-i seriously want to do something new-