.. what i think about ..

I hate exam.
and i hate days before exams.
preparing and studying for an exam is depressing.
and night before exam is the peak of everything.
name it- hunger, dizziness, laziness, sleepiness.
ahah. but my mum said, "tuelah, sape suruh study last2 minit?"
haha, yeah, i know. but i can't help it.
i'm rationalizing it by saying, if i start studying earlier, i might forget earlier.
but then she said, "awak tue nak study untuk lulus exam, or faham for knowledge?"
ahaha. yes... untuk lulus exam. *shame on me*

on the exam day itself,
with all the mountain-up informations that are cramped in my head
-- ready to explode on the exam paper.
it always does. and lately, it never fails me. *thank god*
in 3 years time, i've had approximately 80 exams.

80 exams in 3 years time (30 modules!)

remember i've said that i always have an exam within a fortnight time.
it's too frequent isn't it.
and it's not helping me to start studying earlier. haha

i hate sitting for a paper.
for mcqs consist of 120 questions (which is in 110 minutes)
i often take less than an hour to finish them.
it's not boasting or anything.
it's that i just don't linger at a question thinking bout the answer.
i skipped it and go on to the next question and come back later on for that.
u can actually go out earlier if u have finished doing the paper.
BUT.. i'm just too scared to go out early.
because i'm scared that i might regret that decision.
i hate the thought "owh, if only i stayed there, i might have realized the mistake in let say, question no 5)
i hate REGRETS.
that's why, i would go over the paper, checking now and then.
and still have 30 minutes before the time ends.
what do i DO???
hahaha. now this is funny..
i spent 30 miracolously longgggggggggg minutes day-dreaming.
yeah, during an exam.
i think about what i wanna do next after the exam.
i think about my wish-to-buy list.
and haha, i even calculate budget.
things i should spend on, and what i shouldn't with my allowance.
managing money is hard for me, u know.
managing 1.2k every month is hard for me.
but luckily i have Z to organize my money.
and mind you, he had to put a lot of effort to strain my needs.
hahaha.. but sometime it just leak out somewhere and i get what i want.
but thank you Z, u always made my day!

and during my day-dreaming,
i'm scared to even stretch my head by looking right and left.
because i'm scared the lecturer might think that i'm trying to copy a friend's answer.
HUH! i hate that! haha.
so i would look at my paper with empty eyes.
thoughts have lurk out somewhere.
to la-la land..

and 3 years have passed.
after this there won't be an exam like that anymore, i supposed.
SKILL LAB is WAITING!!!~
dunno to cheer or to mourn..
but be positive bout it.
yes i will