make it happen.

i always wanna be the girl who can speak her mind.
instead, i do speak my mind. in my own very mind.
pathetic. that i don't actually have the guts nor the courage to do so.
because i'm scared of what i'll say might hurt others.
so i keep it all to myself.

i do hope that as time goes on,
i will be braver.
instead of keeping it all to myself.
i might actually blurted it out. to the right person.
but maybe... just maybe that time might come in 10 years or so.

right now all i wanted is to have a happy life.
with Z, friends and family.
i love them all to pieces.
and i do hope they're feeling just the same about me..
awwwwwww....

i have a lot of unfulfilled wishes.
the never-ending lists of what i want to do.
i think too much.
if only i can just do, do, do and think later.
but yes. i have to think about the consequences.
if it is a child, that the child is permitted to act without thinking.
and leave the consequences for the adults to handle.
but i'm no longer a child.
i have to bear the consequences of my own personal acts.
i'm forced to grow up and take responsible.
that's sad. isn't it. but that's life.

what i'll do at this very moment.
make it happen.
everything i've wished for.
make it happen. one by one.
in a safe way. of course. =D

p/s: chelsea won over everton 2-0 and grab the FA cup. yay!!~

it's gettin' hot in 'ere.

for a tropic country, jakarta is hot. too hot.
the heat is coming from the ground.
it's like living inside a microwave.
i got fever because of the extreme weather.
luckily it's on weekend.
so i still have time to rest.
and my fever is cooling down.
but i still have one major problem. eating.
i don't have appetite to eat.
i haven't eaten rice for more than 24 hours and counting.
my stomach is full with Hcl acid.
please, i don't want to have peptic ulcer (aka gastric)

yesterday i went to the mall to watch terminator salvation.
the movie was AWESOME. yup!
christian bale does know how to carry John Connor's character.
and i love the movie to bits.
too bad the original lead actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger only had few naked minutes on screen. LOL.

and this evening i went to N's house
she held a garage sale.
bought a dress and few accessories.
and it's cheap! honest!

and right now, at this very moment.
i'm watching the FA Cup.
Chelsea vs Everton.
and it's on 2nd half.
they are tied with 1-1.
i'm hoping Chelsea will win. please WIN!
drogba, u're AWESOME.
lampard, score some goals.
prove that losing to Barca doesn's affect your spirit and skills.
win A CUP!



well, people, do pray for my health. thanks a bunch!

BARCA RULES!~

the UEFA champion league--> Barcelona.
yay!~ i've been wishing they would win and YES they had!
beating manchester united with 2 goals.
that was very impressive.
although i don't watch it till the end because i have class at 7,
i still feel the heat of happiness from the winning team.

Z said that M.U was a little too passive yesterday.
as C.Ronaldo was marked. nobody made quite an impressive move yesterday.
too bad for Ferguson. i hope he's not too depressed.

and yay!~ Lionel Messi shot the winning goal
and he was stated as the best player. (MVP maybe?)
anyway, congratulation Barca! you did AWESOME!

moving on to my next agenda. (as if i have one, but i'll crap about something anyway)
holiday has been confirmed.
we have 4 days of hols. wooopay.
my girls wanted to go to Atlantis (similar to Desa Waterpark)
so i think i'd join anyway.

today class starts at 7 because Dr Husnun can't make it at 8.
we learned about CVS. no it's not cardiovascular thingy.
it's computer visions syndrome.
what is that?
it's a group of clinical manifestation when you use your eyes excessively and for a long time.
like using the laptop four hours straight playing FB.(haha, Dang!)
ur eyes will get tired and it will creates few symptoms
such as:
1. dizzy
2. difficulties in focusing ur eyes.
3. asthenopia (tired eyes)
4. double visions
5. neck ache and back ache

this is the best way to set your laptop.
i will try to bear that in mind too.

PMS

owh bukan penyakit menular seksual
it's pre-menstrual syndrome.
it is said that the etiology for this syndrome
is because of the imbalance between estrogen and progesterone
that cause the serotonin to decrease.
and serotonin affect your mood regulation.
that's why sometimes you are feeling depress few days before menstruation.

there are actually few types of PMS. CHADO-that's how i remember it

1.PMS type C (craving)
2.PMS type H (hydration)
3.PMS type A (anxiety)
4.PMS type D (depression)
5.PMS type O (others)

so which type do you belong?

********************************************************

UEFA champion league has reach its climax.
tonight will be the night.
will Barca wins? or will the devil wins?
may the best team win.

p/s: i'm hoping Messi will perform and Barca will win.
but that's just me. =P

neutralization.

there are times when i choked with anger.
there are times that i am so angry with Z.
there are times that i find it impossible to argue with him.

but after a few minutes of silence and self-debating.
i find that i truly love him.
and it based on no sense at all.
and that there's no need for a ridiculous fights and arguments.
and it cancels out every other thing.

i love you. thanks for everything. =)

i do hope you are reading this.

.. in need of a life adventure.

i sometimes believe that, this is where i belong.
i don't belong in any other world.
i don't fit in any other world.
i won't know how to react, how to adapt,how to excel.
i always know that deep down inside.
"this is what i am supposed to do"

or so i thought.

after 3 years doing meds.
i have come to believe that there's nothing special about my life.
there's nothing memorable enough that it will stick like glue to your head.
u'll remember forever. not strong enough.
my life is too routine.
class.discussions.exams.seminar.
all kept repeating over and over again.

the best thing that ever happen would be meeting Z.
and he will always be the man i love. now, and forever. (finger crossed)

i only have 3 more years before i graduate.
and yes, i have spent most of youth studying and doing literally nothing.
i don't go bungee-jumping.
i don't go snorkeling.
i don't dive.
i don't even know how to drive or swim.
suck isn't it?

i want an adventure in life.
i don't know.
just as a remembrance before i get old.
just as a bedtime story for my unborn child.. in the future.
how i would tell them what have i doing when i was young.
and they will stare in amazement.
saying, "mama, u really did that"
instead, the reality might be "mama, is that all you ever do?"
if i don't make a difference.. soon.

i don't want it to be that way.
and i would certainly change my way of writing here.
i talk too much about routine.

-i seriously want to do something new-

benci lah exam.

owh cepat lah habes exam.
esok nak pg tgk cerita angels & demons.
then later on 27th may nak tgk terminator salvation.
tolong lah confirmkan whether cuti or not.
dosen nie suka suki plan pg bromo tak bgtau.

ok. kepala dah pening.
penat lah study.
especially notes prof suharko yg pening macam lalat.
hahaa